poetic licence

The Poet-Master General warns that this lyric may cause both severe cognitive dissonance and loosening of the bowels at an unpredictable rate.

Faux poets
strutting the page with wit
gleaned wholesale
from pretty greeting cards
and the oft heard bleatings
of fast food salesmen.

“Here, I have an ode
haiku style___
it comes with a plastic John Keats sex toy”

“So, this is about… consumption?”

I just fire-up
one of my thirty-seven
random word generators
and log on to one of my favourite
insult creators
passing some misogynistic
unedited piece of patronisation
– relieving like a much needed piss –
as “tomorrow’s hot lyric”.

Still –
if it’s said loud enough
“marketed” long enough
and kept at the top
of your weblog of choice’s
“menu for today”
someone will notice
and flick it a kudos

Is all the McPoetry™
driving anyone else nuts?
(controversy generates comments)

here’s my I-poem 1.1™
Isn’t this fun!”

For one week only, and available only to the first 6.7 billion callers!

Requests for a supersized McOde™ will be greeted with mirth and presented with an epic on the subject of their choice. (The management highly recommends “Existential Ridicule in the Age of Conspicuous Consumption”, available only between 7.13 AM and 7.16 AM on alternate Wednesdays in months ending with T or H). Apply at the counter when placing your order please.

I.Poem 1.1™ recalled due to faulty syntax causing potentially dangerous discombobulation in the frontal cortex of susceptible readers. Contact 1800-McPoetry™ for a full refund.


August 2010


8 Responses to “iPoem1.2”

  1. jvonbargen Says:

    Don’t anybody believe him! You’re a damned hilarious liar, mate! …and you’ve lost your ever-lovin’ mind!! But I love you anyway. Daddy always said I had to be kind to the mentally challenged. Thanks for the hoot, cobber!! Gawd, I needed that laugh! I’ll come over and help you look for those missing screws. Be right there.

  2. jvonbargen Says:

    Well obviously those screws are still loose.

  3. jvonbargen Says:

    Duct tape and bacon. No Texan worth their salt would find themselves without ’em

  4. jvonbargen Says:

    A laxative is a little gentler on the colon…

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